Er zijn van die dagen waar je een beetje moe en lusteloos van wordt. Gelukkig valt die dag deze week op dinsdag, want dan zijn er vanaf 20.00 uur allemaal fijne series op Net5: Will and Grace, Grey's Anatomy en Gilmore Girls. Smullen op da Banque...
Maar onderstaande uitleg van Women's English en Men's English doet ook wonderen voor mijn humeur!
Daar gaat ie dan:
Women's English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
Men's English
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
I love you. = Let's have sex now.
I love you, too. = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.
Abonneren op:
Reacties posten (Atom)
5 opmerkingen:
Jezus Christ girl. You should write a god damn book.
Nou ja, ik vind dat het erg grappig en leuk is.
and who are you?
Want tja... ik vind t natuurlijk leuk dat je er zo over denkt en voel me zeer gevleid, maar wil toch graag weten wie je bent!!
wat een ontzettend geestig lijstje. Ik herken het heel erg want ik moet lachen dus zal het wel waar zijn. Toch wil ik niet dat het zo is...
Er komt weer een nieuw lijstje aan, zie begin volgende week... Hoe zou het komen dat die grappen over mannen in het Engels circuleren? Hou me aanbevolen voor Nederlandse humor over mannen... als dat tenminste bestaat :-)
Een reactie posten